The Wonder of a Child

It was the Feast of Sto. Niño de Cebu last Sunday in the Philippines while in the United States, the 22nd of January will be the anniversary of Roe vs Wade that legalized abortion.

It is the wonder of a babe, so small and so powerless yet paradoxically so big and powerful at the same time.

With my mother's Alzheimer, her days are often spent in bed. Yet everytime her great grandson comes to visit, a big change in her is so noticeable. Lucas is just six months old but he is able to lit up the face of mama by his presence. It is like new life had been added to her failing energy. Her eyes are aglow just looking at the little babe. When Lucas chuckles, mama is just so happy. She would join in the singing of ABC and giving out her finger for Lucas' grasp. For my sister, baby Lucas takes away the stresses of the busyness of daily life.

We know the demands of caring for a toddler but such a wonder how much a little babe can do. New life, another miracle of life welcomed in our world bonds us together. We gather round the baby, we are all looking at the same person, in spite of our differences.

Maybe looking at a toddler, we are subconsciously reminded where we began and at the same time what we aspire- a vibrance of life, a purity, a receptivity to being cared and loved.

Maybe, there is that someone fresh from God and stirring in us the inate desire to be with in the end of our journey.

Maybe, there is that renewed call to love when we so often forget to love those who have been around because they have hurt us, disappointed us or even repulsed us.

Or perhaps, it is just the utter cuteness of little babes that makes us smile.

One thing is for sure, it is life - a gift to be unravelled, a purpose to fulfill, a part of God's divine plam for humanity.

If I Were There

If I were there
would I rejoice with Mary & Joseph for the newborn Jesus?
If I were there
would I smile at young Mary's lullabye as she cradles the Babe?
If I were there
would I joyfully laugh at Joseph fretting around to give mother and Child comfort?
If I were there
would I wonder at the tiny hands of Baby Jesus and see the wonders He will do?
If I were there
would I believe if Angels tell me that the Messiah would come thru this humble family?
If I were there
would there be awe for a God who would deem make Himself as vulnerable as a Child?

Here I am and I still could....
marvel at the Mysteries of Life.
Here I am and I still could
be amazed by the Splendour of such Love.

Reaching the Unreachable

In light of the Sandy Hook shooting tragedy caused by a 20-year old young man suffering from mental illness, there have been articles on mental illness. My mother suffers from episodic dementia due to Alzheimer but the stories here are about children. The challenge to their parents as caregivers are tremendous. It is heartwrenching and at the same time, it is a testament to the strength of the human spirit. There is the love that perseveres amidst the odds, and frustrations over things they can not change. There is the courage to face the fears and adjust to the best possible option that would be good for the sick and society at large.

Here are their stories:
http://anarchistsoccermom.blogspot.com/2012/12/thinking-unthinkable.html?m=1

http://www.janisjourney.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=106&catid=44&limitstart=10

One of the most frustrating part of dementia (or perhaps any other mental illness) is the futile effort of reaching the unreachable. They are physically present but they belong to another world. Nothing can appease them. One can not explain the situation away. You have to hold on and hope the dementia ends. Sometimes it feels like it will never end. Sometimes it scares you that it might end in tragedy.
Since no words can really reach them, often, I keep quiet and just caress the hair while continually saying a prayer mentally. I also put Ipod on the speaker dock and play the Rosarycast - the entire four mysteries , and it quiets her for a time. I distract her with DVDs of Sound of Music, King and I, and Shirley Temple movies. The episodes of dementia can really be straining- physically, emotionally, and mentally for both the caregiver and the sufferer.
Like most caregiver, caring for a loved one can not be done alone. I have my sister who alternates with me. And there are occasions when both had to be present. You learn to weave your life in this tapestry. When to clean up, when to garden etc. You learn to adjust things, hobbies like crochet when the situation requires just sitting down with her.

My Advantage. I live in a highly urbanized city in the Philippines but there's a difference. We live in a Family Compound. This is were I grew up and living out my childhood as a childhood is supposed to be. The culture is not individualistic. People from all walks of life are generally nice , respectful, and helpful of the elderly. Although, there is the busyness of modern life, there are still avenues of integrating one's life with other people.

Little things can help a lot. My cousin would always ask if there's anything needed at grocery or market since that is her destination. There would be someone who would be willing to bring out the garbage. My niece would bathe the dog. Even my sister abroad helps out by talking to my mother on the phone. Referrals for doctors when someone is sick. And of course, there are the prayer warriors and God's cheering squad. In turn, my sister gives food to others. When allowable, she drives for the young ones. Since, I am home based, I am the junction- connecting people, relaying messages. I do sweep the yard and beyond the boundaries. I help out tutoring the students when they need it.

There is without a doubt room for improvement. We have excess of things we csn let go. We have to keep on discerning priorities. There is definitely room for helping hands. Some people are so near and yet so far in their hearts to care. Still, we can not expect from others to understand what we are going through.

Little things we can do for each other and somehow we get by and still living out God's purpose in our individual lives. It is not to say that everything is sweet and easy, it is difficult. There are times when one's body can get so tired, the emotions so drained, the mind so heavy and even God seems to be absent. Here (http://vitae2day.blogspot.com/2012/07/my-life-into-prayer.html?m=1 ), I asked God to. turn my life into a prayer.

Still, it is all worth it... the opportunity to love and serve as I have been loved and served. To find those jewels- precious moment that give as a glimpse of what truly love is.

The Battlefield of Life, Who's Winning?

Some people do not ever want to question God. Perhaps it is to them a manifestation of lack of trust or reverence. I do question God because I want to know - Him and His ways. However, in doing so, one must be prepared because sometimes the answer - the truth can surprise us, shock us, or amaze us.

There was one point when I did not question God but told Him point blank that "God, I think You are losing in the battle". Looking back, I am amazed at my nerve to say that. But He does answer all prayers including such irreverent accusations.

The answer: The battle between God and the Enemy had been won by God. It is me and humanity who is in the battlefield. Am I winning or losing? Are there more people winning or losing?

The battlefield is in the choices we make. Winning or losing, how do I gauge that. It depends on the destination where I want to go. There is only one road with two ends. One is the fullness of life and the other is living death. We are battling between life and death always by the choices we make. God wills and desires for each of us the fullness of life but He allows us to make that choice.

Yes, some choices are difficult to make. Sometimes, we can't see if it is life-giving or death-hugging. We are clouded by our fears, insecurities, needs, and pain. There will always be opposing voices enticing us to a particular direction. Still, if one is conscious of the battlefield; Mistakes can always be set aright with another choice.

Yet, the greatest loser in the battlefield is the one who doesn't even know he is in one. Just riding the tides and going along with the times. Just when I thought it was a battle between good and evil, God and the devil, light and darkness; I was just an onlooker getting wounded in the fight.

When we realize we are in the battlefield, we get a chance to examine our lives and where it is heading for. We can put up our armour. We can be aware of the temptations along the way. We realize we are not alone in the field.

When we know we are in the battlefield; We stop trying to win God to our side but rather strive to be on the side of God.

Life is a Gift of Love and Love is a Gift of Life

I believe that life came to be because of God's love and my parents' love. Yes, life is a gift given by love. Within that gift of life unfolds another gift and that is the gift of love.
I would have never known love if I was never given a chance to live. And on this day, as I celebrate my birthday, I thank God and the people in my world for life and for love.