Reaching the Unreachable

In light of the Sandy Hook shooting tragedy caused by a 20-year old young man suffering from mental illness, there have been articles on mental illness. My mother suffers from episodic dementia due to Alzheimer but the stories here are about children. The challenge to their parents as caregivers are tremendous. It is heartwrenching and at the same time, it is a testament to the strength of the human spirit. There is the love that perseveres amidst the odds, and frustrations over things they can not change. There is the courage to face the fears and adjust to the best possible option that would be good for the sick and society at large.

Here are their stories:
http://anarchistsoccermom.blogspot.com/2012/12/thinking-unthinkable.html?m=1

http://www.janisjourney.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=106&catid=44&limitstart=10

One of the most frustrating part of dementia (or perhaps any other mental illness) is the futile effort of reaching the unreachable. They are physically present but they belong to another world. Nothing can appease them. One can not explain the situation away. You have to hold on and hope the dementia ends. Sometimes it feels like it will never end. Sometimes it scares you that it might end in tragedy.
Since no words can really reach them, often, I keep quiet and just caress the hair while continually saying a prayer mentally. I also put Ipod on the speaker dock and play the Rosarycast - the entire four mysteries , and it quiets her for a time. I distract her with DVDs of Sound of Music, King and I, and Shirley Temple movies. The episodes of dementia can really be straining- physically, emotionally, and mentally for both the caregiver and the sufferer.
Like most caregiver, caring for a loved one can not be done alone. I have my sister who alternates with me. And there are occasions when both had to be present. You learn to weave your life in this tapestry. When to clean up, when to garden etc. You learn to adjust things, hobbies like crochet when the situation requires just sitting down with her.

My Advantage. I live in a highly urbanized city in the Philippines but there's a difference. We live in a Family Compound. This is were I grew up and living out my childhood as a childhood is supposed to be. The culture is not individualistic. People from all walks of life are generally nice , respectful, and helpful of the elderly. Although, there is the busyness of modern life, there are still avenues of integrating one's life with other people.

Little things can help a lot. My cousin would always ask if there's anything needed at grocery or market since that is her destination. There would be someone who would be willing to bring out the garbage. My niece would bathe the dog. Even my sister abroad helps out by talking to my mother on the phone. Referrals for doctors when someone is sick. And of course, there are the prayer warriors and God's cheering squad. In turn, my sister gives food to others. When allowable, she drives for the young ones. Since, I am home based, I am the junction- connecting people, relaying messages. I do sweep the yard and beyond the boundaries. I help out tutoring the students when they need it.

There is without a doubt room for improvement. We have excess of things we csn let go. We have to keep on discerning priorities. There is definitely room for helping hands. Some people are so near and yet so far in their hearts to care. Still, we can not expect from others to understand what we are going through.

Little things we can do for each other and somehow we get by and still living out God's purpose in our individual lives. It is not to say that everything is sweet and easy, it is difficult. There are times when one's body can get so tired, the emotions so drained, the mind so heavy and even God seems to be absent. Here (http://vitae2day.blogspot.com/2012/07/my-life-into-prayer.html?m=1 ), I asked God to. turn my life into a prayer.

Still, it is all worth it... the opportunity to love and serve as I have been loved and served. To find those jewels- precious moment that give as a glimpse of what truly love is.