Mary's Pondering Heart

The Annunciation...
"Behold the handmaid of the Lord, be it done to me according to Thy Word."
My God and my Savior, You are within me. You will be inside me.
What mystery is this... You will be Flesh of my flesh, Blood of my blood. Yet, I am just a creature and You are God.
Yes, my Son is my Savior and my God. For You, I cast all plans aside that my womb may be Your Tabernacle.

The Visitation...
It was a long and rough ride, my Child, my God. There she is, Elizabeth, the child in her womb is leaping with joy.
Why am I telling You all these, my Son and my God when I know You know it all.
Still, my Child, bear with a mother's whim, though I am but a child of God.
You are within me, yet You are greater than me. Oh, my Son - my Savior and God, my heart is filled with joy. It overflows.
'My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord,
my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has looked with favor on his lowly servant.

The Nativity...
A little Babe, I cradle You. You who had known me before I was formed in the womb.
Still, I wonder why You have chosen me, when a manger and a swaddling cloth is all I have.
You know everything, my Child. You know I love You.

The Presentation
Here You are my Child, complying with our rituals. I lift You up and yet You are above all these things. Simon and the Jews await You and so does the whole of humanity -a New Israel, a Light to the Gentiles. Again, I say "Yes" to You even if a sword shall pierce my heart. I have so long borne You in my heart. In my heart forever You will be. I have loved God so early on, but now I love You even more. My heart overflows, let it be pierced for You so that it may flood the world with Thy Love.

The Finding in the Temple
Oh my Son, my Savior, and my God. Be patient with me, Your mother who worries and frets. I trust in You and Your Grace and Wisdom; but a mother's heart still I have. And I say "Yes" to You, my Son and my God. I will seek You and know I will find You if I keep focused on God's Will.

Something There

I knew there was simething there,
and now it's gone.
It could have been a gift,
but now I won't know.
I know there was something there,
they can call it anything.
Still, it is flesh and blood of my own
that was something there.

It is just something, too small
a bottle or a box will do.
Like a garbage it can
be thrown or flushed away.

An unbreakable bond breaks my heart
for that something there is a part of me.
An unbreakable bond wounds my soul
for that something there is a fruit of mine.

An unbreakable bond where I came from,
I could have been that something there.

I can pretend and numb myself
to that something there.
Past is past, yet I never learn
from that something there.

I could have celebrated life
and cherish it;
But I chose death for that
something there.
I didn't know I chose mine, too;
And each day I die from the cold.

Blaming them. Blaming me.
Blaming that something there.
I could have seen.
I could have lived.
I could have changed.

One discretion after another,
a choice that can not be undone.

Now, I hold on to a Hand that heals.
A love that forgives and cleanses my shame.
It was His Hand I rejected;
Yet, it is His Hand that reaches
into the wounds of my being.
Hoping each day to restore
the dignity of His inheritance.
Teaching day after day
the integrity of life and love.

Look Who's Laughing Now

The Advocate: Henchman, how is our RH Bill going along?
Henchman: Advocate, the pro and the anti are stuck solid. It's fierce and feisty.

The Advocate: Have they read the contents?
Henchman: Advocate, majority do not really like to read, only those who are seriously into it. People read headlines or just listen to their favorite media personalities. People read when they need to plagiarize.

Advocate: Bwahaha! So what do you think they are fighting for?
Henchman: Advocate, the anti-RH has so many items in contention. They are so finicky on the details.

Advocate: That is not good. They might want to put particulars which would be obstacles to our purpose.
Henchman: Advocate, most pro-RH have this blanket idea that this bill is for the poor. To give them free artificial contraception. We have been doing that without the bill and that is already in the other bill.

Advocate: Bwahaha! Quiet. That is good when they have this blanket idea. Learn henchman, it's called social acceptability. It makes them feel like they are the good people.

Henchman: Yes, Advocate, they call the anti-RH Pharisees and Saccharines or something that sounds like that.
Advocate: Bwahaha! Yes, I love it. Demonize the opponent. So they think they are doing what Jesus Christ would have done.

Henchman: Yes, Advocate.,that is what the ignorant majority think... but how could Jesus do that when He is God, the source of life.
Advocate: Bwahaha! They have forgotten that. Social conditioning, my henchman, we have imvested money and time for that.

Henchman: You mean, Advocate, that they do not realize they are insulting the Creator! No wonder you are so happy.
Advocate: Henchman, you knoe our strategies. Have you dug out dirts?

Henchman: Advocate, yes, from past and some we have to insinuate and put some malice. We are surely undermining their moral authority.
Advocate: Bwahaha! Divide and conquer. They are such pesky stumbling block.

Henchman: Well Advocate, it doesn't stop them from still airing their view. They say they are not about quantity, they are just... you know faithful to JC.
Advocate: Henchman, you know we can't change that! But we are after souls.

Henchman: Advocate, will it really help the poor?
Advocate: Bwahaha! Basic math, henchman. Divide the bread by the number of family members.

Henchman: Really, Advocate, I hear that all the time. I bet it was your idea.
Advocate: Of course, henchman, they forgot the multiplication of loaves and fishes.

Advocate: How are the women reacting?
Henchman: Advocate, those women who are ambitious and don't want any sidetracks are empowered by this bill eventhough they don't need this bill. Then, there are those... you know soft-hearted women who still like children and motherhood.

Henchman: Advocate, I was just thinking. How can this empower women? The wives or young girl friends can not say "no" to men with men having condoms ready.
Advocate: That is so, but we tell them that at least, they are free from fear of having children from it.

Henchman: And if they have children, the men wouldn't want it because they would think that the women got pregnant just to trap the men.
Advocate: Exactly, henchman. Divide and conquer. And they could even questiom, "is that my child, prove it". Bwahaha. Medical expense for Paternity test. It would be cheaper to have abortion to end dispute.

Henchman: Advocate, the poor woman would know what she had done. It will weaken her forever.
Advocate: Exactly. Man against women. Women against Man. I love it! So empowering.

Henchman: Advocate, they say this is for social justice. Wouldn't there be more broken families?
Advocate: Exactly, then there would be single parents and that usually leads to poverty. Vicious cycle.

Henchman: Advocate, you are really... Well, why are the same-sex couples entering the picture.
Advocate: Learn, henchman, confuse their identities. Make this a confusing world with confused needs.

Henchman: Is that good for the women?
Advocate: Henchman, henchman,,, same-sex attraction is the same as the artificial which is unnatural contraception. Don't you see.

Henchman: Oh, I see now, Advocate, you do hate life and the Giver of life.
Advocate: We have covered everything. Politics, Medicine, media, youth, academes, men, women, poor, middle. Bwahaha.

Henchman: How did you do it?
Advocate: This world is about money and vanity. Give them financial grants and they become beholden. Appeal to their vanity, feed their egos with praises. Boom.

Advocate: So, henchman, how's our enlisted people and groups?
Henchman: Advocate, we are watching over them, monitoring their words, tweets, shows. Completely guarded and rated. Our allies, champions, and influentials-- they are saying what we have taught them. They are as trained. Same language, same smile, same strategy. Almost robotic, if I may say so.

Advocate: Bwahaha! Bwahaha!

Henchman: Many good people blinded, Advocate?
Advocate: Yes, henchman! Self-righteousness blinds the eye into thinking it's enlightenment. Disobeying one but forgot to check who they are obeying. No one is self-made.

Advocate: As we say to the people, your will be done. Well, after we have formed and conditioned it.

Advocate: So be it, henchman! So be it!

Henchman: Advocate, I have a personal question.
Advocate: Ummh, go ahead.

Henchman: Advocate... do you hate women?
Advocate: In a way, I do. I hate life and a woman is the first haven and protector of life.

Advocate: I... I just can't accept it. A woman... a mere human being given the privilege of bringing forth.... the Messiah. A woman... looking so fragile could have such strength. A woman... looking so beautiful should be a soul bearing a soul.

Advocate: The fall... of woman is death. I can not serve life. I can not serve a God who had chosen a woman over an angel. I can't.