Something There

I knew there was simething there,
and now it's gone.
It could have been a gift,
but now I won't know.
I know there was something there,
they can call it anything.
Still, it is flesh and blood of my own
that was something there.

It is just something, too small
a bottle or a box will do.
Like a garbage it can
be thrown or flushed away.

An unbreakable bond breaks my heart
for that something there is a part of me.
An unbreakable bond wounds my soul
for that something there is a fruit of mine.

An unbreakable bond where I came from,
I could have been that something there.

I can pretend and numb myself
to that something there.
Past is past, yet I never learn
from that something there.

I could have celebrated life
and cherish it;
But I chose death for that
something there.
I didn't know I chose mine, too;
And each day I die from the cold.

Blaming them. Blaming me.
Blaming that something there.
I could have seen.
I could have lived.
I could have changed.

One discretion after another,
a choice that can not be undone.

Now, I hold on to a Hand that heals.
A love that forgives and cleanses my shame.
It was His Hand I rejected;
Yet, it is His Hand that reaches
into the wounds of my being.
Hoping each day to restore
the dignity of His inheritance.
Teaching day after day
the integrity of life and love.