Love Your Enemies

SMALL STEPS IN LOVING YOUR ENEMY

•• SMILE at your enemy.
St. Jane de Chantal found it difficult to forgive the man who accidentally killed her husband and she began with a little smile. You might argue that it is hypocritical but the effort of putting forth something positive for someone you feel negatively about is a big step towards healing and forgiveness.

•• PRAY for your enemy.
If the mere mention of the name of your enemy is difficult, just say "I pray for... You know who, Lord". You need not have any specific prayer intention, just let God's good purpose do the work.

•• WRITE A LETTER to your enemy
Let it all out in a letter and then DESTROY the letter. Unexpressed sentiments can be consuming but once we let it go, we feel differently.

BIG STEPS to loving your enemy

•• TALK
Do as St. John Paul II and take the initiative to talk to your enemy and find a way to understand the other person.

•• STOP REFERRING TO YOUR ENEMY AS ENEMY
Untagging a person to the word "enemy" is a big step to treating that person just like you would treat other people in your life.

It may be difficult to do but the one thing that's for certain FORGIVING is the biggest gift we can give to ourselves.

Acceptance and Forgiveness

The media coverage on (Comedy King) Dolphy's life and death had died down and now left to the annals of history. The one thing that struck a note in the many media mileage was when Zsa Zsa Padilla thanked her daughter Karylle for her ACCEPTANCE and FORGIVENESS. Karylle (a singer, actress, and host herself) was but a young girl when Zsa Zsa left her marriage to dentist, Dr. M. Tatlonghari for Dolphy. Karylle isn't a publicity hound so I have no idea when her relationship with her mom went for the better. I don't know when she has gotten to be in good terms (if ever) with Dolphy. I don't know if her dad and her mom are in good terms.
Still, it brings into focus the wounds of broken family. Families would always be imperfect but the brokenness cause by polygamy is even more.
In spite of Christianity, it is prevalent. Erap Estrada, Ramon Revilla Sr. FPJ, Mayor Pablo Cuneta. Many are into their nth marriage with annulments becoming easier or through Protestant marriage. My own mother was a child of a father who had many wives(?). Friends and relatives had children of broken marriage.

To a certain extent, it is as old as time and legitimizing it with divorce only worsens it. Acceptance and forgiveness is a must for everyone in this battlefield of good and evil. Howver, my encounter with children of broken marriage make it seem a double struggle when acceptance and forgiveness are needed towards their parents.
Acceptance is difficult, most especially if it is a fault we see in our parents. There will always be that invisible umbilical cord that binds us to our mother and father. They are the best for us no matter what; We always want to associate with what we know of love.

Acceptance without condoning an error or a bad choice is possible. It is to separate the sin from the sinner, to separate the choice from the person. Sure, there is shared consequence for every choice. We will be affected even if it is not our choosing. But we can endeavour to look at a person as a whole and not define them by one choice. It is, then, that we can open up the possibilities of choice for ourselves and others. There are experiences in our lives that we can say are "given". When we know the given, it is easier to find the solution. There is something thar can be done, and we are not stuck in a past that can not be erased. Some bad experiences are like lumps or blockages that keep love from flowing freely. The healing of these blockages is what forgiveness is. It could be just as painful but it is a healing and purgative pain. It restores our relationship with our humanity. It restores our relationship with others. It brings back the worth of every person and a chamce to grow in wholeness.

It is heartbreaking to see the wounded child in my mother resurface when she's having dementia. It is heartbreaking to see so many people like broken vessels walking so fragile in this life. But as shown by the example of Karylle, something better and beautiful can still happen with acceptance and forgiveness.