One Compassionate Choice at a Time

Caring for the sick is an invitation to learn true compassion. It is not an easy road and one could hardly imagine the lives of Mother Teresa of Calcutta, Bro. Richie Fernando S.J., Fr. Richard Ho-Lung and their companions. How did they develop such compassion? Why were they not exasperated?
It is easy to be filled with pity for someone suffering in sickness, or the poor people camped out in evacuation centers. To look at dirty, little ones begging for money. The face of anxiety, pain, and fears. However, to stay with these for a prolonged period is not easy. One is faced with situations not easily changed and may not change. One is faced with circumstances that is not entirely in one's hands. It is so easy to be filled with anguish and have pity and exasperation at the same time.
Love can be strained and really be put to the fire. I can only describe it as "I hate the Philippines I love", or "I hate the poor that I love" or "I hate the person I love".
It is difficult to separate the undesireable situation and the person(s) in it. It is difficult to believe that God is at work in the situation. And yet, within us, we want to care for people and we want to trust God who had created a beautiful world and had blessed us. It would have been easier to be indifferent.
Mother Teresa tries to see the Jesus she loves in all the people she encounters. She is all focused in filling up the thirst of Jesus on the cross. She loves Jesus as unconditional as humanly possible.
Compassion, the true love of others, is then manifestation of how much we love Jesus. To love Jesus even in "distressing disguise". Yes, Mother Teresa is not blind to the "distressing" situations but she is able to see beyond it - a disguise of something opposite of distressing.
Mother Teresa and the rest like her is able to muster compassion and persevere in it by the power of faith. They are sustained by the Sacraments and lived a sacramental life. Their lives were growing in virtues.
Through the Sacraments, these compassionate people lived in Him, through Him, and with Him. In turn, Jesus was able to work in them, through them, and with
them.
For struggling wanna be saints like me, authentic compassion is something to be striven for. An examimed choice/ response can manifest the indifference, exasperation, or compassion and from there make a willful choice to grow in compassion. One compassionate choice at a time.

Compassion or Exasperation

With the floods that struck much of Luzon, we see on television poor people needing to be rescued and given relief. One FB post says, "how pitiable are the children, and still you don't want to pass the RH Bill."
And on a daily noon time show wherein most of the contestants are poor, the "star" host preached how ingrained it is in our culture that bigger family is synonymous with happy family but ... blah, blah.
Both individuals are good-hearted people even quite religious in their own ways. They have a right to speak out their mind and they sincerely believe that poor people should have less children for the sake of the children that they could have but shouldn't have. The RH bill is, of course, more than that since the DOH are already providing artificial contraception to the poor. It is, however, the rallying point of government towards poverty alleviation.
Nonetheless, my musing takes me to how people respond to the difficulties or problems of other people whether it be financial poverty, sickness, broken relationship, and the like. We have sympathy for others misfortunes. We have a sense of seeing something wrong in the picture. Most of us have a heart that goes out for those suffering but we respond differently.
There are those who are altogether indifferent to the plight of other people; But for those who are not indifferent, there are also differences in response.

Some people respond with "pathos with exasperation". I see your suffering and I feel for you. I am willing to be with you and help you even out of my comfort zone. There is authentic pity for the sufferer but there is also a presence of anger. There is always someone or something to take the absolute blame except the one's self.
Esperanza and Rosa would react to poor people with children, "oh, why do you keep having children. Just get ligated while we help you with your needs." In utter distaste for the suffering, they subconsciously wish away the sufferer. Ka Popoy, on the other hand, would blame it on the government and wish away the government with his idea of government.
Such response to poverty, sickness, crimes is becoming quite common. There is self-righteousness and thus, a feeling of superiority over the sufferer or aggrieved. There is a need to take control over others who are inferior. Idealistic without realism, thinking they can bring heaven on earth. In spite of, the well-meaning intention, they tend to trample on the dignity, integrity, and freedom of some people who are unlike them. Sometimes, they become worst than the indifferent.

The most common is "pathos with exhilaration". I see your suffering and I feel for you. I will help you even out of my comfort zone. These are the joyful givers. They feel good helping others. Although, there is a consciousness of the difference between them and the sufferer, there is a mutual blessing. There is no judgment given on the sufferer and whether or not the suffering goes away or not, the important thing is that something was done.
Majority would perhaps fall in this category, simply doing what one can do. There is no obsessive drive to change the world, but enough to make a difference in this world. This isn't mediocrity, this is living with respect. They hold the world together, keeping it sane and keeping it from it's self-destructive impulses.

Then, there is true compassion. I feel for you and I am willing to help you even out of my comfort zone. It is heroic virtue that tries to know what it is like to be in the sufferer shoes. This brings forth understanding. This allows them to truly know the needs and the help that can be extended without stepping on the intrinsic right, dignity, and integrity of the sufferer. They are changed and they change people's lives beyond the superficial. They stay though the journey together may require time, patience, and emotional/ mental investment. More than that is the need for humility- to recognize that one can easily be in the other's place. No matter what, there is a sense of connection to the sufferer. We are participants that caused such sufferings but we can also be participants to the alleviations of such sufferings. They don't bring instant result but they are the true movers that are realistically responding to the needs of the times. These are our living saints. This is true CHARITY .

The less we center our lives on "me", "my needs", "my ideals", "my way" etc, the clearer I see "me" and my neighbors; Then, I can have an able response to life - response ability.